Friday, February 10, 2012

It would seem that Warren's little baby ears have a giant "welcome" sign attached to them beckoning any and all bacteria to come, kick up their feet and relax for a good long stay. As far as I can tell, the bacteria have whole heatedly accepted his invitation and are thoroughly enjoying their cozy, rent-free existence.

But no more, I tell you! We are cutting a drafty window in the wall of their toasty lodge and blowing them out of there! ( Translation: we are scheduled to get some tubes put into this babes ear drums.)

Warren has had horrible ear infections since October- (Although I have to wonder if they didn't start way before then, and I just missed it, never having had a kid with ear issues before this.) Even when they aren't infected they are still full of fluid and pressure. He has been miserable. He doesn't sleep well, and you guessed it....neither do I. This is my first child to have chronic ear issues. It's terrible!!! I have never gone through so much infant Tylenol and I have never before experienced such prolonged sleep deprivation. If I get so much as one 3 hour stretch of sleep every few days I consider myself lucky. I am a walking zombie most days, plagued with thoughts that perpetually sound like this: "uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh.......ummmmmmmmm....uhhhhhhhh." 

That's about it. My brain is totally shut down. I no longer have coherent thoughts. It's been a lovely experience. 

I haven't written this whole time because "uhhhhhh....ummmmm....and uhhhhhh" don't make for very exciting blog entries. It's sad though because I missed documenting Thanksgiving, Christmas, 2 kids' birthdays and a myriad of other events. Funny how, even if mom gets no sleep and can't think straight, life still plods along and things happen. We still smile, cook dinner, wash the laundry, wipe down the counters, help with homework, do the shopping, etc., etc.. It all just keeps going.....such is the life of a mom.

After numerous visits to the doctor and eventually trips to the ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat specialist), we are going forward with the ear tubes. I have been told by many who have gone the tubes route that I can look forward to a much happier baby. (We had a couple of really healthy weeks right after Christmas and I think I met that baby. I really liked him.)  

I will say this- you learn to love and bond with a sick, troubled baby in a special way. You just can't help but desperately love a helpless little guy that so desperately needs you-- hour after hour in the wee of the dark nights. My heart aches that he is so often uncomfortable or in pain, and there is so little I can do for him except hold him, rock him and feed him. Thus, that is exactly what I do. I hold him- a lot! I rock him- for hours! and I breastfeed him- a ridiculous amount for a near one-year-old. (This kid isn't even close to being weaned!-but that is another story for another day).

I'll be anxious to see how the tubes change things for us. Maybe after a few full nights of sleep I will start to miss those quiet times we have together, just him and me, rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and, probably not, I'll take the sleep. We can rock during the day.


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